September 2010
68 posts
High Noon in the Garden of Good & Evil: Greg... →
jamesadomian:
Two years ago exactly, Greg Giraldo, Dan Boulger and I visited Monticello, the self-designed estate of Thomas Jefferson in Charlottesville, Virginia, before a show that night at the University of Virginia.
With nothing better apparent to do that day, we went on a guided tour of this…
Giraldo Was Smart, Handsome and Funny as Fuck.
And he had a reputation for being a decent human to newer comics. Didn’t know the guy, but laughed at his shit long before I even imagined being a stand-up comedian.
.
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I met this guy the other night who I kind of want...
Maybe you’re just turned off by the idea of fucking someone’s dad.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Oh hey again I'm the struggling student trying to...
Yeah, you’ll be fucking fine. Clean for your aunt and make her some homecooked meals.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
I am needing a really good idea for a not-too-sexy...
Tucker Carlson!
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Will I be able to live off $4k of leftover student...
If you live in a piss-poor, cheapass part of the country, certainly. If you live in an expensive place, you might be able to if you only eat Ramen or something.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Any tips for an aspiring drag queen?
Wash the eyelash glue and makeup off very gently and carefully and thoroughly. Pink eye and morning-after eye crusties are a drag queen’s worst frenemy.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
I LIKE TO START FIRES DONT YOU
Nope.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Do you have a show on BTR? Jamie Kilstein said you...
I haven’t done it in a longass time, but they used to broadcast my monthly live show, “Family Hour with Auntie Sara.” It’s still archived there somewhere!
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
You Know It’s Bad When the Army Actually Calls It... →
I wrote this for you and your many friends today. Enjoy (or don’t, you sick bastards.)
$15,500 For a Reproduction Roman Helmet? Sure, Why... →
The person who buys this also enjoys holding midnight blood sacrifice fuck parties in a basement built entirely of human skin.
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no I didn't mean to call you a pussy! like i said...
Oh, you didn’t offend me. I was being a jokester. :) Thanks for reading, and for writing.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Thanks again for your two cents - I found it...
Grazie!
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
So from past questions/answers here I understand...
Sadly, I haven’t had enough sessions of ladies eating my nanny for me to be able to tell. I have known some very adept gentlemen/heroes.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Turns out she's a commitment phobe and was...
Hooray! I’m glad it is working well.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
Hey! I asked you a couple weeks ago about the...
Ooh, thanks for the follow-up!
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
aimee-b-loved:
you-should-listen:
Eric Cartman...
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TOMORROW. BLIND DATE. ADVICES. GO. :D
Wear deodorant. Tell your friends where you are, and check in with them during the date (take a bathroom break and send a text.) Don’t take it too seriously. Enjoy yourself.
I can fix your life, explain your future, make sense of Science (TM) and/or Religion, and give fake medical diagnoses!
1 tag
So, there is this guy, and I am in love with him,...
Don’t lie. You’re not friends with her. You’re making plans to fuck her life partner of ten years. Be honest with yourself at least.
A ten-year relationship that is “mostly dead” is still not dead. And when he gets out of it, he’s gonna need time to adjust to life without that girl. Unless you constantly want to be chasing her ghost and trying to live up to...
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How do I know when a guy is actually interested in...
Don’t unzip your pants on the first date. See if he calls again. If he does, he might be interested in something more. If he doesn’t, he DEFINITELY isn’t interested in something more. Look, I’ve hooked up on the first date and my advice doesn’t come from some moral high ground. It can be really fun. But if you think you like the dude, hold off on the fingerbanging.
...
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I haven't gotten dressed/showered/left the house...
You’re depressed and you need help. There are probably other things going on, too, but don’t worry about figuring it out on your own in your current state. Make an appointment with a therapist ASAP. If you can’t summon the energy to do it, ask a friend or family member to find someone good and to sit with you while you make the call. Or a friend or family member can make the call...
HEY! You're invited to my birthday party! →
It’s The I’m Not Dead Yet And Neither Are You Fund! Please donate and enjoy your vida.
Fabulous books for people with anxiety and/or... →
I love Bev Aisbett’s first book, “Living With It,” and I recommend it to anyone dealing with panic attacks or anxiety.
mirnagarcia-deactivated20101116 asked: ZOMG I follow you on twitter, and IT'S BEYOND AWESOME YOU HAVE A TUMBLR TOO. :D
Lovely Bizarre Printed Pillows →
I’ve got the bearded fellow in drag as well as the lady with a ship affixed to her chapeau. Reliable shipping, high-quality. I don’t know the guy who runs it, but I dig his stuff.
Writing a Book
Is kind of hard, it turns out.
Please
Tell your friends that they are precious. Tell the young people you know that it gets better. Say it until your throat is raw.
He was a singular creature.
Young man kills himself/from 1999 →
I still remember this like it was yesterday. As I write my book, Sam is inevitably a part of it. I’ve wondered about his death for eleven years. His story is still sadly prescient.
